Live & Let Live

Why is there so much emphasis on distinguishing ourselves from “normals” or “basics”? While it is hard to connect to people who don’t share our interests (and much less our views), it’s not impossible. Of course it all comes down to the effort we choose to make, but sometimes the only “effort” required is to drop a patronizing attitude and realize that decent people (even good ones, too, go figure) exist in all shapes, sizes, lifestyles, and musical orientations.

With such a huge (and wonderful) focus on acceptance in underground scenes, it’s disheartening to hear people put others down because they look too “normal.” The hatred goes both ways, of course, and having lived in a “college town” for a long time, I saw this regularly: there existed a huge divide between sports-gear-flaunting students and those in the diy scene.

And with good reason. The one thing I miss the most now that I’ve moved away are the small, inclusive spaces where I could meet people with the same interests, tastes, etc. as me, and actually listen to good music surrounded by people who cared. In a massive sea of orange and blue, shows provided a comforting, black island.

What I don’t support is the hateful attitude within our community. From the derogatory names to the idea that we are somehow superior because we don’t follow sports teams, don’t listen to mainstream music or read celebrity news, there is an unnecessary (yet almost mandatory) disdain for those who don’t adhere to our views. Isn’t that sort of fit-in-to-be-respected attitude what we’re supposed to be fighting for in the first place?

So I suggest that we take the time to reconsider our double standards and to stop judging others based on how they dress or what they listen to. Sure, music does shape a person to a great extent, but good and bad people are born from all sorts of environments. Of course it remains up to each one of us to decide with whom we associate, and someone with different interests, views, or lifestyle may not seem worth our while. But this does not mean that we need to be hateful towards them, and it certainly doesn’t justify harassment of any sort.

Abuse and Mental Illness

Not all of those with bipolar disorder are abusers, and not all abusers are bipolar–this should go without saying. But bipolar abusers do exist, and their illness is not an excuse.

Something I see really often across different platforms is the damaged ex-lover of an abuser with bipolar disorder being attacked by people with bipolar disorder who assert that there are nice people with bipolar out there, that the asshole is not representative of the group as a whole.

The fact of the matter remains, there are plenty of assholes who also happen to suffer from bipolar; while their behavior would normally be characterized as abusive and they would be treated accordingly, they instead are excused, by themselves and others around them who have not suffered abuse at their hands (friends or acquaintances who only get to see their “good” side, or at most get a kick out of the manic antiques because they’re not directly affected, then disappear when the depression hits).

Misconceptions about Depression

chasingphan:

Depression isn’t always sadness

It’s also feeling numb at 3am but smiling and laughing with friends at 3pm

It’s also not being able to get out of bed even though you were fine the day before

It’s also not eating because you aren’t hungry or can’t be bothered, but also over eating because you’re bored and feeling empty

It’s also loving too hard or not at all

Depression isn’t a constant feeling of sadness, depression can be hidden in happiness.

Your depression is valid even if people say it’s not just because you smile

Source: T-FFED

“28 Signs of an Abuser”

[TW: abuse, domestic violence, dating violence, rape, sexual assault]

Here’s a list that helps to identify abusive behavior in your “significant” other.

Although I was lucky enough to escape my abusive relationship early on (I was dragged out by my family, who could see–and, more importantly, accept–what was happening), most people aren’t so lucky.

I hope this list will be of some use–or at least of use to some.

http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2008/08/28-signs-of-abuser.html

Source: Sanctuary for the Abused

(Unfortunately, the writer of the list assumes the abuser is male and the abused female; if you can get past that, this list could be very helpful).

Demoncrats

I’ll neither live nor die for your dreams.

I’ll make no subscription to your paradise.

[Video link: album cover that reads “Stations of the Crass” and depicts two people in suits, one of them with a gun for a head, and another person in a skirt/shirt/vest outfit with a child’s head. In the background there’s a sculpture, a painting, stairs, and various objects].